Forever running pt. 2

6/23/09-
My life has been reduced to a single point. It is a point of balance, where, reared on the balls of my feet, shoes just tied and ready to take that first step, I exist for a single second between two worlds. One world before running; that from the point of waking everything is merely preparation for running. The other after that first step and quelled storm of worries, less a series of events and more a flow of released life and a stream of inhaled and exhaled breath. My quiet celebration.

I run and that has made all the difference. I leave at night, just as the sun fades from this world, but before the stars shine in glory. My first few steps go past an opening in the the endless pattern of houses. Through that gap I see the city and through the city I see the dark alleys and streets; the veins of some huge, slumbering beast. My legs have grown solid and I run all night, coming in as the sun peaks out over the horizon. And its glorious, to see downtown grow in my mind. Its like an organic animal, evolved from choices of survival and inhabited by creatures seeking also the music of the night.

I feel more at peace now. More defined by drops of sweat I leave on the pavement than any opinion, material object or relationship I ever had in the light of day. The echoes of my feet or some long-off shout are the only sounds. Sometimes I run out to the very edge of the piers that line the water-front. I go and crouch on the edge of the wood. Water laps at the barnacle-eaten posts underneath, invisible in the night. I often take a few minutes of rest and look out at the few lights shining on the black hills across the water. I was there and now I`m here, a seemingly profound statement, but only so now, at this moment.

7/14/09-
This running is taking over the light of my day. The world of bright color is now pleasant and endurable but holds little interest in comparison with my nightly tests of running. And it is truly a test. Every night a definite challenge to return home to my wife, work and the unneeded routine. Someday, and I fear I am very serious, I will reach the crossroads to my house and stop, stare down that stretch of cement and turn outward, headed for the far horizon and an unexplored road. I met another runner, a woman who has joined my excursions in the same manner, desperately seeking an avenue for some consuming energy. We have become united in the passion of blowing wind, ragged gasps of air and the silence of an empty street. I now know there are others out there of a similar nature, that our group will grow in time. And the question keeps coming, "What if we kept running? Where would it lead?"

8/4/09-
Tonight I packed a few changes of clothes, money and this notebook into a running backpack. My shoes sit next to me, beckoning of the open road. I can`t think beyond leaving this house, I don`t know where the road will lead tonight. But its just such a brimming sensation I feel, that tonight I`ll reach those crossroads and not be able to run back to this house, that the pale light of dawn will shine down on an untrodden path. So I packed and so I kissed my sleeping wife lightly, the last time and sit here at my desk. Its growing darker and a cool wind blows through an open window, bringing scents of the ocean and the final remnants of summer. Its the forerunner of the unknown and it calls stronger than I`ve ever known.